A Passion for Parenting

From the heart of a barren woman.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother. I was blessed with a most magnificent mother and consider motherhood to be the absolute most wonderful blessing a woman can have.

The Scriptures teach that being a wife is my highest priority and the purpose for which God made me, and I do love that role, but there is just something about being a mom that takes my breath away.

I had plans to bring up at least a dozen children with joy, love, laughter, discipline, home-schooling, service to God and others, and all that life entails as a ‘keeper at home.’

And yet… …My King and Loving Heavenly Father had other plans. I won’t pretend it was easy, but I bowed to Him in submission and gave my heart to follow His plans instead of mine. If you want to know more about how I managed to do that, read my book, Rejoice Thou Barren. It’s listed there for $6, but if you’d like it for free, just ask and I’ll happily send it to you.

When Solomon wrote in Proverbs 30 that a barren womb is never satisfied, that clearly came from the heart of God and His intimate knowledge of women like me. I am long past the childbearing years, and yet tears still run down my face as I write this because my heart still aches with sadness that I’ve never had the privilege that so many women take for granted or throw away.

Just because God decided not to allow me to be a mother, that didn’t diminish my passion for parenting. I sometimes think it multiplied it! Everyone who knows me can tell you that I LOVE kids.

I have been working with children and teaching children for over 40 years, and it’s a great joy in my life to have that privilege. Do you know this Scripture?

Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. ~Isaiah 54:1

Honestly, I don’t think Isaiah the prophet, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, was talking about literal barren women in this passage, but I’ll be the first to admit that prophecy isn’t my strong suit when it comes to understanding God’s Word.

I’ve read commentaries, of course, but, just between us, I think half those guys don’t know what they're talking about either. 😉 However, it seems that God was making parallels to the Old Testament nation of Israel, but I don’t think the Lord would mind me making a more personal application of His Word in this instance.

Did you catch that phrase, “more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD?”

In many ways, I feel like I have had more children in service to the Lord than I would or could have had if I had been blessed with my own tribe to love and nurture. I do know that God has used my passion for parenting and teaching and training children to not only share the Gospel with thousands of children over the years, but also to nurture and ‘mother’ a select few, which has been a great joy and privilege.

Those opportunities have allowed me to gain a wealth of experience and wisdom that I believe God wants me to start sharing with parents and future parents. I guess you could say it’s time for me to “break forth into singing, and cry aloud.”

God has been nudging me for some time to take action and teach young parents, and I admit that I’ve been more than a little reluctant. Yes, I have heard many times over the years from struggling parents how I really ‘don’t understand’ because I don’t have kids of my own.

That seems a reasonable assumption, but I’ve discovered something very interesting along the way as I’ve worked with parents, children, and other teachers. It’s almost the reverse of that assumption that is true. Parents don’t ‘really understand’ because they DO have children.

Have you ever noticed how some teachers can competently and calmly control and guide a classroom of 4 or 5-year-olds, almost single-handedly, and yet a parent may struggle to control just one or two of those same little ones at the store or at home?

Are they just ‘bad parents’ or maybe ‘exceptional teachers?’ I don’t think so. Well, credit where credit is due, there are some exceptional teachers! It takes training and self-discipline to master the skill of teaching a large group of somewhat ‘untamed’ children. I’ve seen it done poorly and I’ve seen it done well.

What’s the difference? I believe there are a few key elements in play that have a significant impact. I’m just going to share one of the components to start with because there is a lot to absorb and I don’t want this to become too much in one sitting.

• Training - You might be thinking, “Seriously? Training? That’s it?” Yep! That’s it! Well, that’s not the only thing. Like I said, it’s just the first thing, but it’s a big one.
  
  How many parents have training in parenting? Surprisingly few. Why do we expect someone to have a very important (perhaps THE MOST IMPORTANT) skill, just because they or their wife gave birth?
  
  Good teachers have had good training. That’s why they can do what they do. They have learned what to do and say and how to do and say it. They know how to ‘train’ children to follow particular routines and behaviors. It’s not magic. It’s technique.
  
  Don’t get mad at this next statement, but consider it in context.
  
  Have you seen dogs that will follow commands joyfully and obediently and other dogs that won’t come when they’re called or do anything they are instructed? What’s the difference? Training! Someone with training learned the skills necessary and took the time and effort to train the dog properly to achieve those results.
  
  Of course, I’m not suggesting that children are dogs. Instead, I’m saying that if dogs can be taught to amazing behavior, don’t you think children are far more capable? It’s not the dog or the child, it’s the trainer.
  
  So, where can parents get the training they need? The Bible tells us that the older women are supposed to teach the younger women, and the fathers are to teach their children, too. Generations before us have failed to meet their obligations, and we continue to do the same, for one reason or another (those are some thoughts for a different day).
  
  If anyone desires to hone their parenting skills, they need to actively seek training from somewhere. As Christians, we need to be careful that our training is Biblically based and not humanistic in nature, or we will do more harm than good to our children. The devil is very good at getting his training methods out there, so do beware.

I think I’ll stop there for now, and perhaps visit this topic again if you are interested. Let me know if you would like me to continue with some of the other elements that I referenced earlier. This is a topic I’m focusing on more predominantly these days.

In addition to sharing some of my passion for parenting and children here with you, I’ve just started a new project called Parent Helps, designed to give parents everyday practical tips, fun ideas, suggestions for resources, and other parent-related helps. If you’d like to be on that newsletter list, I’d love to have you. Go here to sign up for free.

While I hope to share the Gospel at some point with the subscribers of Parent Helps, it will be more focused on specific parenting information and (fair warning) will be promoting related products and resources that parents may find helpful.

I have another exciting project (at least to me) that I’m working on, too. I’ll tell you about that in a few weeks. I’m not quite ready to lift the veil on it, but if you are a parent, grandparent, or teacher of young children, I think you’re going to love it. That’s all the teaser you’re getting for now.

I hope I didn’t ruffle too many feathers. I really just want to obey God and be a help to you. I love you guys.

Angie